Cyclones and Thunderstorms

I survived thanks to instant noodles and people around me have survived thanks to deodorants. 

Three days since I saw my bulbs flash and the blip on my modem. Three days since I checked my mail, updated my twitter, scrapped my friends..WTF? Three days since I bathed, but thats not new :P 

Silver lining I got to spend qualty time with my family. I lit wicks like we do durin diwali and I learnt how to operate that age old transistor thats been lyin around my house for ages. For once, I understood how the neanderthals would have spent their nights. doing nothing.

I also picked up a couple of interesting new habits..like looking for patterns in absolute dark and convincing myself that my eyes were closed when they were infact open but it was pitch dark outside. 

Truth be told I am glad the water dint sweep into my house and leave me all wet and er--not so horny. What I am not glad about it why this nasty bitch of a cyclone was given the name Nisha? Shouldn't it have a more traditional name, considering the fact that she kept swaggering to and from Tamil Nadu. I mean, it could have been a great opportunity to honor a few people.

Here are a few suggestions:

1) Cyclone AMMA - owing to its massive proportions, or its reach to each and every household in Chennai or the display of feminine power and fury, perhaps. Also cuz we refer to nature as "MOTHER" nature.

2) It could have been called Cyclone Kovai Sarala - for the kind of disgraceful comedy she put this entire state to and the way she lashed out at all the innumerable unsuspecting vadivelus of our nadu.

I have never spent such rudimentary life, where its lights off after six pm and the only source of entertainment was a ruddy old transistor. Thankfully, the nightmare is over and I sincerely hope Nisha has no siblings named Trisha. 

Waking up to Terror

So me wakes up at9:30 (local time :P) and there is news about powercut and terrorists in my Mumbai. Gears started turning in my head. Thanks to a couple of crazy-whacko bloggers I read, I am adept at mixing any two totally un-mixable things. Point in discussion being, Terrorists and power cut.

The guy who turns off your power supply is akin to a terrorist. Cuz he knows his action will affect a thousand people and yet with the throw of a switch, he puts your world in darkness.

Of course the mastermind is some guy who is holed up safe n secure and orders stupid people to ruin unsuspcting civilian life. In this case, Osama Bin Laden is our very ownThiru Arcot N. VEERASWAMY, Hon’ble Minister for Electricity and Rural Industries, who masterminded the hour a day power cut to compensate for the economical crisis.

Yes, the same economical crisis that rises the prices of food n petrol and lowers your salary, if not cut your jobs. Point is, These terrorists are just plain dumb n stupid. I mean we ought to forward those law college videos to them and they will soon realize that India is as such going to the dogs and wouldn bother wasting their precious time and energy in "beating the dead snake" (roughly translated idiom from mother tongue).

Also, the eternally busy terrorists would channel their forces in more constructive (or should I say destructive) ways and find themselves targets that are less vulnerable and more challenging. I mean who wouldn't like a challenge? And tell me frankly, If you were a terrorist, would you rather prefer the more exciting driving -planes-into-buildings-inspite-of-several-security-checks or go into a boring, piece-of-cake-hostage-situation with litearally no restrictions?

It's like playing missions of metal gear solid, where the supposedly advanced GNOME soldiers sleep and let you walk past them but are smart enough to pick your footprints or sounds you make and go into alert mode. Doesn't it seem similar to the Indian Police? Hundreds of terrorists come by boat to Mumbai and the police, a day later, catches the boat and take photos next to it as souvenirs. But the reall challenge in MGS, is the Big Boss. That's in case you don't use the online walkthroughs to identify how to beat the enemy. Big Boss's euphemism to the US or if you follow cricket, Australia. :P Maybe Symo or Punther would be valuable targets, I'd say.

End of Post
==============
Grab a life.

Low Depression?

I am upset with the Meteorology department. Not for their stupid and unreliable forecasts, but why is it that every time it rains incessantly for two days they call it Low Depression? I mean aren't you low when you're depressed and vice versa?

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Anees likes Centurions but not Tom n Jerry

Anish Annadurai: free m watching centurions
r_vinay88: yew when r u ever gonna grow up?!
Anish Annadurai: ah cmon its awesome
r_vinay88: centurions?!
Anish Annadurai: thats the oly way i can knock off few mbs
r_vinay88: swat kats was ok
Anish Annadurai: its awesome
r_vinay88: dexter is good
Anish Annadurai: u knew it
r_vinay88: so is tom n jerry but centurions???
Anish Annadurai: tom n jerry s crap
Anish Annadurai: centurions is cool
r_vinay88: thu odi poyidu
r_vinay88: next u'll tell me u like captain planet
Anish Annadurai: i used to
r_vinay88: bugger

You might or might not know this guy, but when you see him, you'll identify with me

His workplace is a three-wheeled shit hole you'd rather not sit in
He sleeps there,
He eats there,
He lives there.
If it rains, he'll charge more
If there's traffic, he'll charge more
If fuel prices up, he'll charge you more
Hell, if he burnt his arse, he'll charge u more

• He can sit all day doing nothing.
• A typical workday of his consists of reading the paper front to back once, then from back to front once, then upside down. Later, he will gape at the pictures for a while, till its time to go home.
  
• When you avoid him and go to a bus stop, he will (knowing fully well you have no intentions of hiring his services) drive by you in such a painfully slow tantalizing manner that you would want to kill him.
• He is never available during emergencies.
• He does not have any uniform.
• He will pounce on you and physically, verbally and psychologically hurt you at the very first utterance of the word meter.
• He will pretend not to know any place you need to go.
• He will not return change, because he will not have change. Whatever denomination you give him, he will keep it fully.

He will have stickers of
a) Captain Vijaykant in the windshield
b)eyes of Aiswarya Rai in the rear
c) Vijay/Ajith on the sides
d) a picture of God in some deep inaccessible area of this hell-on-three-wheels vehicle

• He will use the first aid box to store money or will use pattapatti underwear of our nadu for the same
  
• His vehicle will always need a re-fuel when you take a ride
• If his vehicle falters, he will open that vent at the back, sit on the road and keep staring inside till you walk away
• He usually uses a HUGE orange funnel for filling petrol

You all know bout the joke where a pastor gets a cotton robe in heaven while an auto driver gets a silk robe. When the pastor objected, god said, "Results. When you delivered a sermon, people slept. When he drove, people prayed".

• He will gladly profess his opinion on everything from weather to politics to traffic management irrespective of whether u care to listen or not.
• He thinks he is ultimate citizen and deserves to be awarded.
  
• The only way you can prevent him from talking to you about his family problems is pay him what he demands.
• He will ask you for the exact and precise details of your location. latitude and longitude and once you get on the vehicle, he will ask you for directions even if he knows the place as well as the back of his palm.
• There is no place he does not know or cannot go. There only exist places where he wont go. And that generally includes your destination.
• If you are a foreigner, he will demand 500 rupees anywhere you wanna go and will get angry if you bargain.
• If inspite of all this, you still hire an auto, Shame on you.
  

Internetworking, Mr. and Ms. Spelling

The internet din't work today. 

My internet was not working today and I wasn't able to Inter network. However, the internet working now hence inter networking. If you found that to be a dumb piece of wasted digital space, I had to endure this pain for an entire semester with the staff of my subject mispronouncing..no mal-pronouncing the name of the subject.. Internetworking 

Speaking of Misspellings, reminds of Mr. Spellings. The nickname we gave to a physics teacher from deep interior regions of Tamil Nadu. His area of interest was Quantum mechanics, which he affectionatey pronounces "Condom Mechanics". And that has been my area of interest ever since. :D

It's not just that. Every Engineering Grad must know Shroedinger Equation. I spent  half my first semester thinking it was Sholinganallur Equation thanks to this guy's rhetorics. I still remember his intro speech in class. He walked in like a short bugger in bell bottoms and said something I still can't get over:

"Previously,   worked as an Arts college"

He worked AS an arts college! Me and mani couldn't control our laughter. Thankfully I cleared my physics paper. 

I still cant forget how this guy taught us bout Lattice and Bashsish..Not hashish mind you.  Interested? Read this version of the same story. Here.

Waking up to Terror

So me wakes up at9:30 (local time :P) and there is  news about powercut and terrorists in my Mumbai. Gears started turning in my head. Thanks to a couple of crazy-whacko bloggers I read, I am adept at mixing any two totally un-mixable things. Point in discussion being, Terrorists and power cut.

The guy who turns off your power supply is akin to a terrorist. Cuz he knows his action will affect a thousand people and yet with the throw of a switch, he puts your world in darkness.

Of course the mastermind is some guy who is holed up safe n secure and orders stupid people to ruin unsuspcting civilian life. In  this case, Osama Bin Laden is our very own Thiru Arcot N. VEERASWAMY, Hon’ble Minister for Electricity and Rural Industries, who masterminded the hour a day power cut to compensate for the economical crisis.

Yes, the same economical crisis that rises the prices of food n petrol and lowers your salary, if not cut your jobs. Point is, These terrorists are just plain dumb n stupid. I mean we ought to forward those law college videos to them and they will soon realize that India is as such going to the dogs and wouldn bother wasting their precious time and energy in "beating the dead snake" (roughly translated idiom from mother tongue).

Also, the eternally busy terrorists would channel their forces in more constructive (or should I say destructive) ways and find themselves targets that are less vulnerable and more challenging. I mean who wouldn't like a challenge? And tell me frankly, If you were a terrorist, would you rather prefer the more exciting driving -planes-into-buildings-inspite-of-several-security-checks or go into a boring, piece-of-cake-hostage-situation with litearally no restrictions?

It's like playing missions of metal gear solid, where the supposedly advanced GNOME soldiers sleep and let you walk past them but are smart enough to pick your footprints or sounds you make and go into alert mode. Doesn't it seem similar to the Indian Police? Hundreds of terrorists come by boat to Mumbai and the police, a day later, catches the boat and take photos next to it as souvenirs. But the reall challenge in MGS, is the Big Boss. That's in case you don't use the online walkthroughs to identify how to beat the enemy. Big Boss's euphemism to the US or if you follow cricket, Australia. :P Maybe Symo or Punther would be valuable targets, I'd say.

End of Post
==============
Grab a life.

Gyaan from the Guru

1) Don't even pretend to be confident in the dark.

2) When all the things come your way, you're going on the wrong lane. 

3) I everyone around you seem twisted, something's wrong with YOUR glasses.

4) Don't Cry that its over, smile that it happened. 

How to be "da dude"

Hello and welcome to yet another edition of how to be a dude. This goes out for all you dweebs out there who are sick and tired of being just another guy. Learn how to be da dude. 

Disclaimer: 

I am probably not the right person to be telling you this cuz I don't follow any of this shit. But If u r here, why not read it?

1) Speech

Speak. Slowly. Measure. Your. Words. Hope you get the gist of what I'm saying. You gotta basically speak in this loud low pitched tone that sounds authoritative. And speak slowly so everyone else hangs on to every single word of yours. 

2) Expression

You gotta have this bored expression on your face. Nothing excites you, but you. See the point is you gotta play down what others consider cool and come up with something cooler. The more abstract you sound the better and lies are your buddies. 

Point is: U r the onlyone who's cool. Everything else, you've already tried it and its boring.

3) Walk

Walk like the King, wall like a prince. Body language. Let everyone know u consider yursef to be kind of a big deal. Walk with a pompous attitude. 

Point is: Swagger..don't walk.

4) Rude and Polite

Attitude is a borderline that separates arrogance and politeness. Be polite to servers, watchmen, say please and thank you. Flash your smile. Be rude to babes, wannabes and them prudes.

Bottomline: You are god, rest are all mere mortals. Have fun. Smile. Throw starry tantrums. That's the way of life. Yea Yea spread the word. The king is coming.

"Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to render to every man according to what he has done." 

Malfunctioning keyboard

In an attempt to justify my self proclaimed "digital art designer" status, I have been doing an awful lot of wasteful yet tasteful things this past week. This includes stealing code from well designed blogs and websites, mashing them up and passing it off as my own. And by golly, there're quite a lot of resurces for us..ahem..designers out there. This is the internnwrt..er thats internet.

In case you find atrocious spelling errors in this post or any of my recent e-mails, let me explain. I use an HP wireless keyboard, which sucks up battery at a higher rate than a weasel sucks eggs. In the process, I have started understanding why we need to conserve power. I switch off my mouse(also wireless) and my keyboard, this inspite of loading them with duracell beauties. After all this jilpans I do, those damn batteries still drain my pockets. As a result I have adopted the Policy of Tamil Nadu police.

Don't do anything unless you completely MUST. As evident by the news videos from the law college bloodbath, I have also decided that I won't change the battery unless I absolutely have to. 

Consequence: Bad Typo errors. Bad. So bad, I am seriously contemplating un-joining from one of my favorite orkut communities. It's called "I hate people with bad grammar" and has a picture that goes like "I like very much you, no?" lol but how on earth do people really manage to come up with so  many communities in orkut anyway? Communities are a thing of the past, Orkut's getting to be a real bore, inspite of all those flashy new features they bring about to make it look half as good as facebook. 

Yeah, so I have managed to pick up a few patterns (yes I had Data mining elective) of my malfunctioning Keyboard. When I type fast(which I generally do, thanks to years and years of being a mouse potato) the adjacent key gets pressed automatically. 

Eg: Herllo

Fucvk off

etc

Point being, the keyboards either malfunctioning or my fingers are growing to be as fat and chubby as Anees's fingers. Speaking of orkut apps, I tried one called TypeRacer, where u r presented with random quotes, which u have to type. Once you finish it, you receive your average speed which u can compare with your friends who have also played the game. Me being the megalomaniac, tried it out and to my utter dismay, I am not as fast as I assume to be. 

That's because when I blog or type e mails, I KNOW what I have to type and I rip off at jet speed. And i don really bother about the typos cuz I proof read. This type racer thingy gives you quotes you are unfamiliar with and doesn't let you go to the next word unless you get this word right, punctuations inclusive. 

So If the quote is <"Jerk Off!" said one bugger to another> you end up with errors almost throughout the game cuz u can 

1) Miss the quotes

2) Miss the case

3) Miss the punctuation

4) and of course mistype

So I suggest all you self-proclaimed jet setters of the keyboard fraternity play the game and give your egos a leveller that pulls you back to Solid ground. Oh and btw, there are like a 175 keyboard communities in orkut.

CL T20 final to be held in Chennai

The Champions League T20 final on December 10 will be played in Chennai instead of Mumbai's Brabourne Stadium.

The opening match in Group Awill be between Victoria of Australia and Middlesex of England will commence on December 3 in Mumbai.

The Chennai Super Kings, IPL runners-up, and Titans of South Africa make up the other two teams in this group.

IPL champions Rajasthan Royals headline Group B together with South Africa's Dolphins whom they will face-off first in Bangalore's Chinnaswamy Stadium. Sialkot Stallions of Pakistan and Western Australia make up the rest of this Group.

The group games will be played in Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai over four days, with Bangalore and Chennai hosting the semi-finals.

Himmessh the movieie

Himesh Bhai is a Pakistani Rockstar who has a mid-age crisis and suffers for erectile dysfunction. This is the story of how he became a Rokstar from a local pub singer and explains why his songs are fulla sadness. Thankfully, this story does not delve into details of why Himesh Bhai wears a cap all the time or whats with his new "Rockstar dude" hairdo. 

 
Aashiq Banaaya

Aashiq Banaaya Aapne

Himesh Bhai was a small town singer, who used to sing in local pubs and have a wonderful life. In came this woman, who Himesh fell head over heels for and managed to pick up, thanks to several e books he downloaded from the internet, Himesh is now the ultimate Pickup artist and swoops the girl of his dreams off her feet. One thing leads to another and Himesh Bhai find shimself with his girlfriend in the comfort of his bedroom.

Himesh soon discovers that he is impotent, and he can't bear the embarrassment of having to stand naked with a woman in a room and not be able to do anything. Oh, the pain, the agony of it all. 

After lots of sissy-girl crying, applying pink lipstick and nasal singing to cheer himself up Himesh Bhai turns to what he calls the best invention science has ever made..Viagra. 

Sadly for Himesh Bhai, the magic pills don't work. And in this sadness he comes up with a rhyme:

Magic pills they say

Heavy prices we pay

If only my thingy would comply

Sadly conditions do apply

and his song 

Tanuhaiyaan, which I believe has nothing more to the lyrics part than that one word. 

As a part of his sit-in-the-loo-and-crt routine, Himesh doesn't bother with too much of lyrics. Usually a word or two will do, he can croon and make up for the rest of the song.

Amazed by his talent for coming up with instant lyrics, Himesh Bhai goes one step further and composes a tune for his song. His bitterness seeps into te song and he wails in between the lines. He wails and the song has this deep sadness rooted to it. Himesh Bhai croons through his nose and cries out loud at the local pub where he works. 

This is when he discovers that its alright to cry in between songs. That being impotent is a lot better than being castrated. Slowly Himesh Bhai drinks a lot and develops his faux-pack. Yes, the star has arrived. He pens more songs:

Director X, whose wife slept with everyone in his unit while he was away somehow connects with the pain in Himesh's voice and gives him his first movie break. Himesh spends the night at the loo looking at his now obsolete tool and pens the lyrics:

Ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aaja

Jhaak Dikhlaja..

Overnight Himesh Bhai becomes the rock star..He is flooded with proposals and surrounded by girls but the sadness and misery still haunts him. He takes solace in letting his black bodyguards think he's gay. After all, some things are better than nothing. The black guys, who're both gay always keep humming the 

"Love you unconditionally" track

While Himesh Bhai learns to play the Guitar, play the drums, fiddle with the flute and sit in is loo to pen lyrics for songs "Masha allah" his girlfriend is still recovering from the shock. Himesh penned a song specially for her:

Samjo Na..Kuch to Samjo na

Aalam Betaabiyon Ka

Kaise tumko Bataayen?

=========

Kayee Baar tumse

Kehna yeh Chaha

Magar Keh na paye Jaaneja

Himesh Bhai ij a Rockstar now..Hey dinchak dinchak din

Sourav CHANDIDAS Ganguly

Yes we will miss the shirt-throwing-fuck-yelling guy with  a middle name Chandidas...

No we won't. 

I like him nowadays, cuz he doesn play anymore. 

My folks used to call him Dokku-raja. 

I simply DETEST the way he blinks to keep his contacts in place. 

It never failed to amaze me how well he plays...in those commercials.

His farewell innings was probably his best ever. 

No I'm not gonna miss him. 

Neologism II

Random Quote: "The essence of quality is in its rarity"

Now for some Random Thoughts:

1) Rare: Rare is the feminine version of Hare.

Rare, the quality of being unique or scarcely available.

Rare is also how North Indians pronounce "Rear". 

And hence, Rare means back side, which can denote anything from your butt to that "rare" view mirror. 

2) Rarity: Pronounced "Rear-ritty"..

Meaning: Your Rear feels a little rickety

Reasons could range from last night's birthday bash at Bakya, where you consumed everything that was served on a plate to too much jealousy, which we famously call the stomach-burning syndrome. 

3) Rarifaction: Rarifaction is a rare piece of Faction

Faction by definition is a mind-numbing mixture of fact and fiction mixed only too well for anyone's taste, because you don't know if what you are reading is a fact or part of the author's twisted imagination.

When you are reading rarefaction, your face generally looks like Dan Brown's in this pic. Pic could also be used as an alternate for Rarity.

4) Ratification: Evolved version of "Rat-fixation", verb, (the act of) fixing a rat-situation. 

5) Ramification: What the Iyer mamas at Ayodhya Mandap try to sell you

Ramification, a theological belief/Philosophy where everything belongs to Ram, everything is Ram.

In essence, Everything is Ramified. Ram-ification. 

Also, the state of mind when you're next to a person who has a high HRPM*.

*HRPM - Hare Raam's per minute, similar to NPM Narayana's per minute

6) Refraction: Dejavu, when you re-live a fraction of second. 

Re-fraction. 

Also, Re-live the moment as opposed to Carpediem, live the moment. 

Used as euphemism for a second chance at something

7) Retraction: When you're not satisfied with the tires of your newly serviced TVS champ or Hercules mega-dirt-bike has squeaky clean tires that might make you fall anytime, so you ride over to the best roads in all of Chennai, and burn some rubber for better grip. Re-traction. 

Or if you're Anish Retraction is when you visit the doctor again for yet another sitting of traction. 

8) Retardation - The quality of being late consistently, derived from Re-Tardy-fication. And of course, the quality of having made it up to this far in this post, I commend thee oh great patient blog reader. Thou shalt attain salvation. The end is near. Or maybe I gotta sign of metallica style.

You've reached the end of the line. 

Why the word Fuck is important to the english language

Change De India

Ok, So you just withdrew a swad of fresh currency notes from the ATM and are driving back with a bring-on-the-bling-50 Cent-smile cuz u got the big bucks..hell yeah baby u got them 500s and 1000s. The first thing you NEED is Change. 

No not the Obama kinda change, the Ka-ching change. The ones that do the jing-a-ling in your pocket.

Wanna eat Lays and develop your faux-pack*? Try buying a pack and handing over a five hundred rupee note. You will be greeted with a gamut of emotions ranging from bitter refusal to being yelled at. Trust me, I know.

This is the typical response you get for asking change at ANY shop in Chennai at say 10 in the morning, without buying anything worth more than a hundred bucks. 

I remember this once I was literally kicked outta the bus because I handed a hundred rupee note for a two point five oh ticket. I was so embarrassed that I did what all brave people do. Yelled the worst obscenities I ever knew existed at the conductor and jumped outta the running bus. Naangellam youth la? 

Auto guys are experts at manipulating this "Change illaba" technique. After you haggle with three auto-driving-sons-of-bitches-and-bastards and finally settle down thinking you've mastered the art of bargaining, this guy drops you at your destination and when you hand him over the hundred rupee note, he'll give you this cute-hungry-puppy-dog-expression and say "change illaba". It astonishes me the number of auto drivers who are ALWAYS five rupees short of what they have to give you. 

That's the secret underground conspiracy of the auto walaahs in Chennai, where they meet everyday and decide on different ways to RUIN your life, in style. And just cuz this auto guy's got a Superstar photo in his vehicle doesn't mean he is the prasavathuku-ilavasam types. Maybe thats why most of Himesh Reshammiya fans are auto waalahs. Cuz they both love to ruin your life. Of course, not all auto guys are this bad. Some are worse. 

So getting change is a BIG problem because people don't accept those big notes unless you buy big stuff. And if you're the kinda lazy guy who prefers to count his money in thousands cuz its easier, you're in for some TRUBBLE in chennai. 

I even tried asking for change at them Petrol bunks but guess what? Even they give you the change-illaba crap with an attitude-filled-expression similar to this guy on this pic here. They dont give you change unless you actually buy petrol at their bunks. See everyone's concept is there are always better customers to come, with bigger notes and you need to save up the change for those people. 

So I basically need to hunt down and Kill the guy who said Change is the only thing permanent in life. And when I do find this guy...my shotgun will be loaded

=======

*Faux-Pack - The opposite of Six pack. I coined the term after I obtained one for myself. 

Also, Slang for flab as opposed to ab.

Headlines today

I can never stop ranting about Headlines today. These people clearly understand that the Indian public needs nothing more than Bollywood and Cricket, but for the love of all that is sweet and pure in this god forsaken universe, do they have to be a news channel?

India wins T20 world cup and these guys interview, hold your breath, SRK. Yeah well, he happens to be the most accomplished cricket player of all time. Atleast Aamir would have made some sense he had Lagaan to his credit. IPL hadn't even started back then.

I still cant get over their countdown to the Great Khali's visit to India. They ran this video of Great Khali wrestling over and over and over till I got the moves byheart and started mimicking them in my sleep.

Next up, their breakfast show with three women, who assume they are the most gorgeous women on earth and keep chatting till you either eat your shorts (Bart Simpson method) or take a weapon and shoot your cat outta the window. Shoot the cat :D

How many orkut stories do you find? Kids being kidnap, women being raped, cheated, beaten up? Ok its really sad, but why the hell does that take up prime time on a friggin NEWS channel? Well, the rest of them dont churn up quality stuff either. What with Burkha Dutt fighting with a bunch of ill tempered freaks and this fat guy who hosts the foodie, looks like Indian television is going to the dogs.

Anyways, there are several people living on planet earth for the sole reason of getting on to your nerves. Some of them include, people with phony accents, people with frizzy hair (hello kangana ranaut) and people who speak such long and continuous sentences that the droning sound never quite stops even after you switch off the tv slash mercilessly break it into shards slash throw it along with everything else in your house into some deserted place.


Well, if you are the kinda person who enjoys THAT coupled with so-called "news bulletin" a.k.a twenty four seven crap fulla bollywood shit cricket crap and such amateur pointless unconvincing sting operations that you would rather stick your hand up a bee hive then please tune into Headlines today.

I dont know their names but there's this fat chubby guy, and one female with itsy-bitsy-curly-frizzy hair who runs a fuckin FREAK show with their so called wisecracks, if you need a dosage of good ol' hate, fully primed by the most irritating people on the planet, seek no more.

Special Mention: Headlines today tagline: Smart news for smart people. I rest my case.
==============================
P.S. Yes, I did watch the channel, yes I subject myself to the torture in recent times, if only to humour myself.

Photos of the Me

This was the time when I was a Rodeo. After successful completion of one of the toughest challenges of the job, I was out at this nearby very texas-ish, er..tea stall to refresh myself, when the  this snap was clicked. As painful as that was to read, this photo was taken in a tea stall in Kerala right below the Edaikkal Caves. And since I look fresh, I assume this was sometime BEFORE we actually got to climbing the hills. And that Hat, as can be seen was on display, for sale. I just borrowed it for the snap. 

I don't know why or how this picture was taken. The intent was actually to cover a lotta background, cuz this was on top of a hill and I wanted the photo to say, "Look, I climbed a hill!" but obviously the subject of the photograph changed focus and somehow I like it, cuz its one of those RARE photos that make me look good. 

Please ignore the BULGING paunch cuz this was just after climbing the hills, notice how I am holding that rock for support, both moral and mechanical. You gotta be there to see how SCARY it is while climbing down. And that milky expression of mine says "I'm shit scared but somehow I managed to climb the damn thing".

This picture was taken on a moving boat and intended to capture the sunset, however neither the boat nor the sunset was captured. Point in discussion, Nice snap. 

People have branded me the "Cell-sucker" cuz when I speak it looks as though I am SUCKING my cell phone. Not evident in this photo is the fact that the hand generally covers my mouth too, so no one can hear what am saying. That includes people on the other end of the line and people on this end. 

Maybe its the greenery or maybe it REALLY is me. But then, to get into this luscious green spot I had to encounter boulders and scale the heights of Pondi beach :D and thankfully, the pic was worth the trouble. 

Save the fact that the advertisement is for AGSARCEM, some cheap local cement kinda product, the picture looks like one of those intro scenes in a Vijaykant flick. If I had the time, I would remove that cheap ad, blacken the background and add lightning, you get the drift? This is what I call a potential flick,  a would-have-been-great-snap. 

Okay, I still have ABSOLUTELY no clue as to what that expression means. In my defence, Food is on the table and people are taking a snap, I am bound to be distracted.